Monthly Archives: May 2013

My First Date. Part 2 of 2: The Battle of Non-sex, Sex Brain and Apu the Monkey Girl.

So here we are, finally! Me and my Juliet, alone at last! We smile, shyly and I clear my throat, start the car as we head to the classiest restaurant I could afford on my Target paycheck: Dennys. It’s at … Continue reading

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My First Date. Part 1 of 2: Bubbles and Slammer

Red flags, for those of you unfamiliar with the term; are those subtle and not so subtle hints that the person you’re talking to may be a) insane or b) preparing to murder you. Of course, we still ignore these … Continue reading

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Worth it.

My first real job after getting out of high school was working with a group that worked with kids after school and during the summers. I went through much of my formative years with them and felt like I really … Continue reading

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Sock puppets are not known as romantics.

After I finished high school, I started at a local community college and compared to how I am now, very reserved. This was for good reason, I didn’t know anyone and just wanted to get the whole thing over with. … Continue reading

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Superheroes have a very awkward childhood.

I need to preface this by saying I honestly believed I had superpowers until I was…oh… Fuck it. 16. This kind of attitude, paired with parents that were very much of the ‘follow your dreams’, encouraging school; made for a … Continue reading

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Trailer Farm

My parents always wanted a farm.  They both grew up with large families in old, two-story houses in those kinds of neighborhoods you only see on TV in the early afternoon or early morning.  But they cherished that kind of … Continue reading

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Worst. Best. Prom. Ever.

When I was 17 and much more naive than I am now, I accidentally bought a hooker and took her to my Senior class prom. It’s a long story. I was never very popular in High School, so when I … Continue reading

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I have a problem.

On Friday night, I got out of work early when the pangs of hunger began assaulting my midsection.  I pondered to myself who could be open at midnight when I spied the golden rims of Taco Bell in the distance.  I pulled into … Continue reading

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